August 23rd, 2009 by Alexandra

This may be the thing that officially pushes me to the other team…

From wwtdd.com and celebuzz.com

Good news, movie buffs! Script Shadow has reviewed the script for the upcoming Natalie Portman/Mila Kunis project Black Swan, and from the sound of things it’s going to be plenty kinky.

“Can I just tell you why none of my review matters? Can I just tell you why my review is absolutely pointless? Because in this movie, Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis have sex,” the review reads. “Yeah. You read that right. And not just nice sweet innocent sex either. We’re talking ecstasy-induced hungry aggressive angry sex. Yeah so…this movie is already on the must-see list of 2010.”

Let me just take a moment. I’m (technically) hetero. I only need glance at Jeremy Shockey or David Beckham to prove that. However, Kunis and Portman are the type of chicks that other chicks think “Yeah, if I were ever going to go there… I’d go there with them. We’d have a few appletinis, complain about the quirks of men and how much trouble they are, giggle, act playful, begin a pillow fight and one thing just kinda naturally leads to another. ”

I mean I assume that’s what other chicks think…

July 31st, 2009 by Alexandra

This is all right with me…

Listen, girly. Surely you don’t want me to talk about how I nutted early cause ejaculated early and bust all over your belly, and you almost started hurling and said I was gross, go get a towel you’re stomachs curling. Or maybe you do.

June 22nd, 2009 by Alexandra

One of my trademark moves is to find something people have been into forever, discover it way after it’s “cool” and then claim I created it. So even though this video has 5 million views on YouTube. That means nothing. I’m making this shit big right now.

If moving from this to Chris Pine doesn’t prove out the theory of evolution, I’m not sure what does.

June 13th, 2009 by Alexandra

The dawning of a new age… the SAHETTSB age

Some people are really hot, but you can’t figure out why and every one of your senses tells you to turn and run for the hills. Yet something draws you in closer… that person is sexy as hell even though they shouldn’t be.

Memo to Mr. Navarro,

I believe I’ve seen pictures of you making out with dudes (not that there’s anything wrong with that) and Carmen Electra looks as clean as a urinal cake, so these are things that should turn me off.

With the double nipple rings, wallet chain, Lenny Kravitz 8 years ago sunglasses, the devil-may-care goatee and constant shirtlessness… your douche quotient is somewhere between Spencer Pratt and the old guy that shot up the Holocaust Museum.

Yet, somehow, someway… I want you to pone me like a $2 lady o’ the night.

June 3rd, 2009 by Alexandra

May 14th, 2009 by Alexandra

Patrice O’Neal may be the funniest man on Earth. 1. Because he’s a man named Patrice and still has swagger and 2. Because of this quote:  “A beautiful 35-year-old ain’t as as good lookin’ as an ugly 19-year-old.”

Classic.

May 7th, 2009 by Alexandra

When I first heard Roth’s “I Love College” I was pretty dismissive of it. It sounded like standard frat boy fair. I mean we all remember drinking from the plastic cup, making suspect sexual judgment calls, eating pizza, passing out and rolling into Bio Lab at Noon. Fun, but it doesn’t exactly speak to the soul. As a matter of fact, it made me think of Summer Girls by LFO – if you remember that little gem.

Then I heard Lark On My Go Kart

Umm. Yeah. Roth is a problem.

The comparison to Eminem is cliche and obvious, but warranted on some level.

Many people think Asher Roth is making the music Em should be. Now that comparison, I think is unfair.

Eminem definitely understood (understands?) a catchy tune that could capture some radio play – a la I Love College. But his raw lyricism is downright insane and I dare anyone to tell me White America isn’t one of the most socially aware, heads-up songs they have ever heard – in ANY genre.

So why isn’t Crack A Bottle compelling on any level? Artist, true artists, must draw their inspritaion from everything around them. All that they see, do, hear, smell, experience and Eminem’s experience has changed. He’s not on 8 mile anymore. He isn’t worried about feeding his kid. That’s some shit that will make you hungry.

How many times have you said “Their first album was the best one.” Well, it makes sense. They’ve poured all their energy into that album. First albums are years in the making. Born from tears, sweat and struggle.

I think any person, no matter how gifted, only has so much to give that’s at the epic level and for Eminem’s part, he gave way more than most. Marshall Mathers, The Eminem Show (my #1) and Encore. That’s pretty damn good.

We’re on a first date with Roth. He’s probably showing us his best side, on his best behavior, because he wants to impress us. We need to give it time to grow and we’ll see where we’re at.

Our relationship with Eminem is a bit more mature. We’ve gotten married and divorced twice, been brought up on domestic charges, had 3 kids and are planning a maternity test appearance on Maury.

May 4th, 2009 by Alexandra

This gave me a chuckle. Married people and especially those with children are always pressuring single people to join their little club. That is, if they have time after laying out the 35 reasons they hate their life so much.

“[I'm] not necessarily a bachelor, but I look at marriage as not for me. Maybe that will change at some point, but right now, I see many of my married friends who are so miserable. And I’m looking at that thinking, ‘Man, maybe I don’t need that.’”

- Academy Award-winning actor Jamie Foxx on the possibility of marriage. (Uptown magazine)

May 1st, 2009 by Alexandra

Thefrisky.com, a relationship site of note, has a fun article that covers some new ground – men and women being different from one another.

Novel.

Actually I think it’s a really smart little piece. Basically, men don’t feel badly about doing “bad” things. Most actually revel in it. If they want to sit on the couch for an entire day and do nothing but scratch and watch Howie, Terry, Jimmy and the black guy/JB replacement they try to fool us with, then they do it. They don’t worry that they weren’t productive members of society for that day.That they didn’t hit the Gym or change the life of jjust one child. They sat around and simply enjoyed it – typically unapologeticly so.

Insert a woman having a delicious DQ Oreo blizzard and by the second spoonful she’s whining about how she shouldn’t be eating so much and how she wishes she had will power.  Just eat the ice cream and shut up. Own it fatty! LOVE IT!

April 23rd, 2009 by Alexandra

The last time I read a story on it, Facebook had somewhere in the area of 175 million users.

I came across a story today about their desire to raise revenue by offering vanity URLs. Scroll down to the comments section and you’ll notice people already have plenty of complaints, reasons this isn’t necessary, reasons it won’t work or how you could just get around it.

I (heart) America most of the time. I’ve been privileged to travel about the world and having seen a decent amount out there… I view myself as having won the birth lottery when I happened to pop out of a vagina in the good ol’ US of A. But there’s a disturbing sense of entitlement here.

They change the interface some and people bitch. Whispers even begin to grow around a user-fee and people are jumping out of windows. Less people protest the Iraq war. I didn’t personally agree with the proposed changes to the terms of use a while ago, but I understood that I clearly would have a choice in what I uploaded and did not. Again, Facebook is a FREE service and you can walk away anytime you like. The last time I checked there is nothing listed in the glorious Bill of Rights covering social networking.

So why is it so wrong for Facebook to make more money? That’s an honest question I have.

A college kid comes up with an idea that just happens to revolutionize the way we connect with friends, family, co-workes, neighbors, anyone on a daily… HOURLY… basis. How we share our lives with one another. Our likes, dislikes, opinions our freaking hopes and dreams and many people aren’t willing to kick a dime his way. By no means am I crying a river for Zuckerberg. Estimated revenue last year was in the 300 mil range. But that’s $1.75/year a user. That doesn’t sound right…

I won’t even pretend to understand the realm enough to grasp it, but I have to think the infrastructure necessary to store the “Which Godfather Character Are You” quizzes and English Bulldogs in funny hats pictures alone must be mind boggling.

It seems their biggest revenue stream at this point would be the ads. I’ve used them for work myself and they are extremely easy to create, highly targeted and inexpensive. It’s a decent way to make a buck, but how many of the 175 million users have ever used them?

And speaking of businesses, how many of them have set-up totally free fan pages and reaped the benefits of creating an online community for their customers? It provides an instant connection, access and interactive ability that previously didn’t exist. Being in marketing I can’t stress enough what an amazing tool it is.

I don’t think the longterm “hotness” of any social media site can be assured. To quote the immortal Biggie Smalls – “A true motherfucker going out for the loot”. They have to get the revenue while they can, because the public is fickle. There’s always going to be something more interesting around the corner.

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Twitter

Facebook Who?