June 13th, 2009 by Alexandra

The dawning of a new age… the SAHETTSB age

Some people are really hot, but you can’t figure out why and every one of your senses tells you to turn and run for the hills. Yet something draws you in closer… that person is sexy as hell even though they shouldn’t be.

Memo to Mr. Navarro,

I believe I’ve seen pictures of you making out with dudes (not that there’s anything wrong with that) and Carmen Electra looks as clean as a urinal cake, so these are things that should turn me off.

With the double nipple rings, wallet chain, Lenny Kravitz 8 years ago sunglasses, the devil-may-care goatee and constant shirtlessness… your douche quotient is somewhere between Spencer Pratt and the old guy that shot up the Holocaust Museum.

Yet, somehow, someway… I want you to pone me like a $2 lady o’ the night.